The Gentle Art Of Getting Nowhere Fast : Making The Dilly Dally Cool Again

I like to dilly dally, some might even say that I have a PhD in it. And some of you might not even know what the art dilly dallying even is.

I see you about to open a new tab and click over and ask Chat GPT what Dilly Dally even means and in hopes of keeping you here longer I did it for you. Chat has this to say about Dilly Dally “"Dilly Dally" means to waste time by being slow or indecisive, or to delay doing something you should be doing. It's often used when someone is taking too long to make a decision or get moving on a task.

For example, you might say "Stop dilly dallying and get ready for school!" or "We don't have time to dilly dally - we need to leave now."

The phrase has a playful, somewhat old-fashioned sound to it, and it's often used in a mildly scolding but not harsh way, especially with children.”

Get it now?

I guess your next question is probably well isn’t Dilly Dallying the same as Procrastination?

My answer is a solid NO.

While dilly dally and procrastination are related, they have some subtle differences:

Procrastination is more about deliberately putting off tasks you know you should do, often because they're unpleasant, difficult, or boring. It's a conscious avoidance behavior - you know you should be doing your taxes or writing that report, but you choose to do something else instead.

Dilly dallying is more about being slow, unfocused, or indecisive in the moment. It's less about avoiding a specific task and more about just not being efficient or decisive. Someone might dilly dally by taking forever to choose what to wear, getting distracted by small things while getting ready, or just moving slowly without much purpose.

Think of it this way: if you spend an hour scrolling social media instead of starting your work, that's procrastination. If you spend 20 minutes standing in your closet unable to decide what shirt to wear, that's dilly dallying.

One makes me feel guilty. The other fills my creative tank.

As marketers and business owners, we're so focused on moving fast and making things go viral that we forget some of our best ideas come from those unproductive moments.

Like when I'm browsing and reading vintage postcards and suddenly get inspired for a retro campaign concept.

My focus and intention this summer is to slow things down in my inner world. Get back to simplicity and embrace the dilly dally that I fight daily.

In our rush-rush world, we've forgotten the value of unhurried moments. We've been conditioned to see any pause, any moment of indecision, any lingering as inefficiency—as something to be optimized away like we’re a robot.

 But what if dilly dallying isn't a glitch in our system? What if it's a feature?

My brain needs a good dilly dally day because when I take twenty minutes of standing in my closet  to choose what shirt to wear, I'm not being inefficient. I'm being present. I'm allowing myself to feel the fabric, consider the colors, think about how I want to show up in the world that day. When I meander through the grocery store without a list, walking down every aisle and pausing to examine produce I don't need, I'm not wasting time—I'm experiencing abundance, texture, possibility.

But my favorite place to practice the art of dilly dallying? Antique stores and thrift shops. These places are temples of unhurried exploration, where time seems to move differently and efficiency goes to die—in the best possible way.

There's something magical about wandering through aisles of forgotten treasures with no agenda. I'll pick up a vintage teacup and wonder about the hands that held it, the conversations it witnessed. I'll run my fingers along the spine of a book from 1962 and imagine the reader who dog-eared page 47 re-reading it to figure out why. I'll try on a blazer that's three sizes too big just because the fabric feels like butter.

In antique stores, dilly dallying isn't just acceptable—it's the point. You can't efficiently treasure a treasure hunt. You can't speed-run serendipity. The best finds come to those who linger, who let their eyes wander, who follow curiosity down rabbit holes of old postcards and vintage jewelry.

These spaces remind us that not everything worthwhile can be found quickly. Some discoveries require patience, presence, and the willingness to spend an afternoon getting pleasantly lost among the remnants of other people's lives.

Dilly dallying is the art of existing in the spaces between decisions. It's the practice of not rushing to fill every moment with productivity. It's giving ourselves permission to be inefficient, indecisive, and beautifully human.

If you want this  summer, join me in reclaiming the lost art of dilly dallying. Start whenever you want.  Stand in your closet a little longer. Take the scenic route. Spend an afternoon in a dusty antique shop with no shopping list. Let yourself get distracted by something beautiful. The world will wait—and you might just discover something wonderful in the meantime.

Who else is ready to embrace some strategic inefficiency?

Finding Connection Through Pain: A Guest Post by Katy Owens

In case you haven’t following along on social media, a new Muse came earth side and I’m getting to know her.

I’m really grateful for the network of business owners I’ve built who also enjoy writing to step in and guest post when my real life takes priority over cyber life.

The post touches on something that rarely gets discussed in the social media space: how we build meaningful connections online when physical presence isn't always possible. I'm honored to share this powerful piece from Katy Owens, of Empowered Path Occupational Therapy who opens up about navigating social media and community-building while living with chronic pain.

What drew me to Katy's story was her refreshingly honest take on social media's original purpose - connection - and how we can reclaim that intention for ourselves. In a world of highlight reels and perfect feeds, Katy reminds us that there's immense value in sharing our authentic experiences, even (or especially) when they're messy.

As someone who believes in the power of intentional social media use, I appreciate how Katy offers practical wisdom for creating what she calls a "social media sanctuary." Her insights about curating our online spaces aren't just for those living with chronic pain – they're valuable for anyone seeking more meaningful digital connections.

I'll let Katy take it from here. I think you'll find her perspective both challenging and inspiring.

Over to Katy...

Chronic pain sucks. And if you are someone who lives with chronic pain, or know someone who does, you may know that it sucks in so many ways and is unique to each person. Today I want to talk about how chronic pain can lead to feeling isolated and cut off from your social support.

Unfortunately, living with chronic pain can lead to social isolation because of the unpredictable nature of pain flares. Maybe you were invited out to a new brewery with your friends, but alcohol might cause a flare, or they might not have comfortable seating, or it could be really loud inside or a dozen other things. So instead of spending important time with friends, you say no, or cancel at the last minute because the stress and anxiety of the event is not worth the potential social benefits.

As you cancel more and more social invitations, maybe you stop getting the invitation. This can ultimately cause spiraling into depression, as you might look up one day to realize your friend group is nonexistent.

I’ve been in this situation and found respite in social media. When we think about the origins of the various platforms, it’s crucial to remember that the original goal was connection. Where did that go? It’s almost been entirely lost to influencers, AI generated images, restock videos, and obnoxious product placement.

What we don’t often see is the Behind the Scenes of social media, instead we spend hours comparing ourselves to the highlight reel of others. But I’m here for the bloopers. It’s okay to be messy, and sad, and less than perfect. When I was seeking community on social media, I started by curating my feed. Who were the people or organizations I was following, and WHY was I following them? When I read their posts or watched their videos, how did that make me feel? I started unfollowing and unfriending any person or profile that made me feel less than, and instead sought people who were at minimum broadcasting content that was realistic, inspirational without toxic positivity, and resonated with my lived experience. What I was left with was a feed full of seemingly authentic humans with relatable life experiences, and thoughts and feelings that feel genuine. It’s not perfect, and it’s always evolving as I evolve as a person.

There is a ommunity out there for you, whether you also live with chronic pain or are just looking for a group of people who love soup as much as you do. And if you need it: I give you permission to unfriend, unfollow, curate and customize your feed. It’s *your* space, after All!

I have a favorite quotation from Marianne Williamson that is a constant inspiration for the space that I aim to create on social media, for myself and others: “…as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”

Never be afraid to show the world who you are. Create your own social media sanctuary if you must, and curate your feed so you’re inspired by people doing the same. Even if we live with chronic pain and are still finding ways to get back out into the real world for real life connection with friends new or old, we can still engage in meaningful connection right here on the internet.

I, for one, can’t wait to meet you. Let’s make this space beautiful.

About Katy

I work as an acute care occupational therapist in Northern Colorado and also own an occupational therapy private practice specializing in pain management. I earned my Master’s in Occupational Therapy from Colorado State University, where I was honored to receive the distinction of Outstanding Grad Student of the Class of 2022 from the College of Health and Human Services.

Before starting my career as an occupational therapist, I served in the United States Coast Guard. An injury and my subsequent rehabilitation sparked my interest in occupational therapy and fueled my passion for advocating a biopsychosocial approach to pain management combined with an occupation-based approach.

I had the opportunity to present at the Colorado State Association Annual Conference in both 2023 and 2024. I was also selected from a wide pool of applicants to speak at the UCHealth 2024 Symposium, where I shared with fellow therapy practitioners and other medical professionals the value of OT in pain management and the biopsychosocial model of pain.

Connect With Katy:

www.empoweredpathot.com

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/katy-owens-ot/

When Vulnerability Becomes Your Superpower: A Guest Post by Chrysta Bairre

In case you aren’t following along on social media, a new Muse came earth side and I’m getting to know her.

I’m really grateful for the network I have of business owners who also enjoy writing to step in and guest post when my real life takes priority over cyber life.

I am thrilled to share today's guest post from Chrysta Bairre, a voice that resonates deeply and aligns with what I believe about authentic leadership and social media presence. When Chrysta first shared this piece with me, I found myself nodding along with every word.

As someone who navigates for herself and others the complex balance of being professional while being real online, Chrysta’s message about the power of showing up authentically hit home.

Chrysta's journey from trying to maintain a "perfect" image to embracing her whole story mirrors what so many of us experience as business owners and content creators. As the founder of She Goes High, a 1,900+ member women's leadership community, and author of "Beautiful Badass," Chrysta brings a unique perspective on how vulnerability can become your greatest strength in building genuine connections online.

I'll let Chrysta take it from here – and I encourage you to read all the way through. Her insights about the difference between sharing wounds and sharing journeys might just change how you think about your own social media presence.

Over to Chrysta...

My highest engagement as a business owner has consistently come from sharing my most vulnerable moments.

When I launched my career coaching and speaking business, a colleague and friend advised me to "show them your scars, not your wounds". She explained that to build my credibility, I needed to share about my challenges only once I had "figured out" how to overcome them, so I tried my best to put on my "perfect” on social media face. But I'm not perfect on social media or in life. I don't think I've had one single day of having my shit completely together. Maybe I have my shit 50% together. Or maybe 80% together. Or maybe 23% percent together. And that's real life. 

I wondered how I could show up as the face of my business and be “perfectly” fallible human in the process. Not long after I was invited to share my personal story at a mental health awareness event, and my business mentor told me not to do it. I felt so strongly that sharing stories of mental health is important for humanity, so I told my story and waited for the backlash my mentor said would come.

It never came.

Instead, people reached out and told me how much they were moved by my authenticity, and I even got a few career coaching clients from the opportunity! It turns out my vulnerability made them feel more comfortable sharing vulnerably with me.

After that speaking opportunity, I began to share more openly about my struggles on social media, in my newsletters, and on stage. I shared about personal and business struggles, and my people found me. Today I think of it less as “showing my wounds”, and more as showing my journey, and the stops along the way.

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Chrysta Bairre is an advocate for herself and others. As a child she grew up in poverty, surrounded by family members with mental illness and addiction, while her own non-apparent disability went unrecognized and undiagnosed. A queer woman with several disabilities, she fought to get the help and support she needed to thrive, and became a voice for unseen and under-served people like herself.

Today, Chrysta is a career coach and professional speaker, helping women increase their income and impact through valuing their own inherent worth, setting boundaries and saying no in business, and advocating for themselves. She engages and inspires on stage, speaking to employees on banishing burnout, overcoming impostor syndrome, and workplace mental health.

Chrysta is also the founder of She Goes High, a 1,900+ member introvert and neurodivergent-friendly women’s leadership community in Northern Colorado. She Goes High hosts more than 30 events per year to support women leaders in taking up their space in the world and leaving their legacy!

Her first book, Beautiful Badass: How to Believe in Yourself Against the Odds, shares stories and lessons from overcoming poverty and depression in this guide for women who want to take command of their destinies and no longer fall prey to the hardships and setbacks that previously defined them. She is currently writing her next book on the topic of asking for help.

Connect with Chrysta:

Website: https://liveandlovework.com/ LI: https://www.linkedin.com/in/chrystabairre/