The 5th Quarter: Marketing's Hidden Season of Renewal and Reflection

At the University of Wisconsin, there's this thing called the 5th Quarter after every home football game. It's a beloved tradition where fans stay; the marching band comes out and essentially lets loose. The 5th Quarter starts right after the 4th Quarter ends, which is how I look at the month of January.

Sure, technically, January is the first Quarter of the next year, but expect everyone's emotions to still be full from the four quarters: Halloween, Thanksgiving, Decorating for Christmas/Winter, and Celebrating Christmas/Hanukkah.

Hear me out here.

I've enjoyed my share of fifth quarters at Badger games, and the ones after a win are always more energized and uplifting than the ones after a loss. However, the ones after a loss serve their purpose as well, bringing us together even when things don't go our way. 

(This obviously isn’t football but it’s the only photo I have from that time in my life, cause life.)

January in marketing is the same way.

For some people, the holidays are so great that they're coming off of them like a win from their home team, and for others, they want to quietly forget what happened and slide into the next game.

In my little world, January is the 5th Quarter of whatever year just happened, and February is the actual start of the 1st Quarter of business.

The majority of people are recouping from the holiday. They are trying to ground and refocus on the blur of celebrations, food, and card-swiping that just happened. So when you are marketing all of your things and people are not purchasing them in January, it's not because they don't want them; it's because, well, they have been overwhelmed for the past 30ish days. 

I'll keep saying it because I feel like it's getting lost in the noise marketing is all about psychology and emotions. People.  Marketing is about humans.

And as humans our biological cycles are similar to a bear when it comes to winter, to go inward, reflect, grow from the inside and get deeper roots. 

And as the marketer of your business you've also got to embrace this concept of the human psyche that people are going inward during this 5th Quarter.

Here are some suggestions for embracing and making the most of this unique transitional 5th Quarter, AKA January:

Personal Reflection and Reset

• Take time for introspection, similar to how a football team reviews game footage after a match

• Journal about your experiences from the previous year

• Set intentional, gentle goals that align with your natural energy levels during this quieter time

Slow Marketing and Connection Strategies

• Create low-pressure, empathetic marketing content that acknowledges people's post-holiday exhaustion

• Develop nurturing, relationship-building campaigns that don't demand immediate action

• Share content that provides value, comfort, and gentle motivation

Self-Care and Regeneration

• Embrace the "bear-like" instinct to go inward

• Focus on personal development through reading, learning, or taking online courses

• Practice mindfulness and meditation to help reset your mental and emotional state

Business Planning and Strategy

• Use this time for deep strategic planning

• Review the previous year's performance

• Create flexible, adaptable business plans that recognize the human need for recovery

Community and Connection

• Host low-key networking events or virtual meetups

• Create spaces for genuine, supportive conversations

• Develop content that validates the collective experience of post-holiday recalibration

So, as we navigate this fifth Quarter—whether we're riding the high of a winning season or processing a tough loss—remember that marketing isn't about pushing harder. It's about understanding the human rhythm, respecting energy's natural ebb and flow, and creating space for genuine connection.

Embrace the quiet. Listen to the whispers of potential. Let your marketing be a warm invitation rather than a loud demand. Just as the Badger marching band finds joy in both victory and challenge, we can, too, find meaning in this transitional space.

February will come. The first Quarter will kick off. But for now, take a breath. Reflect. Reconnect. Your audience—those wonderfully complex, emotionally nuanced humans—are doing the same. And when they're ready, they'll be eager to hear your story, engage with your passion, and join your journey.

Welcome to the 5th Quarter. Welcome home.

Defluencing in 2025: Why Real Beats Perfect on Social Media

There’s only a few more weeks left of the year (Hallelujah!) and as we move toward 2025 you might be in marketing planning mode or maybe you’re zoning out and navigating these next couple weeks on cruise control either way save this email because I’m going to talk about 2025 and what I’m anticipating could be the social media “trends”.

Everything I’ve read lately from the industry “experts” and even when I asked my AI friend what the social media marketing trends are for 2025 is all geared towards Gen Z. They’ve skipped over Gen X and Millennials, and let’s face it, we’re the ones steering this social ship, or at least we can be.

This month, I really opened up my SBDC advising calendar, and with all of the businesses I’ve met, this sentiment has come through in one way or another: “I want to be real on social media.”  And friend, the scroller wants you to be real as well.

My relationship with social media has been evolving for at least the last 18 months. I’ve been getting clients on board with a less curated look, leaving things messy in some photos, not overexposing and blowing out the green colors in photos, and offering the scroller something somewhat REAL because IRL things are messy and complicated.

Real life doesn’t care if the kitchen island is clean or the clothes are folded and put away perfectly. It rarely ends like a Hallmark Christmas movie with red snowflake sweaters and a Main Street with twinkling lights.

Real life is thick with challenges and extraordinary.

Real life is holding loss and love at the same time.

And what I’ve noticed is that these photos—these “messy” photos—get scroll stopped more and engaged with more. Why? People are sick of scrolling and, with each thumb flip, feeling like a failure because their life doesn’t look like a movie set.

So, in case you need a reminder, stop thinking that you’re failing at life because yours doesn’t look the same as someone’s on social media. If anything, Gen Z, Millennials, and even some Gen Xers are part of a sad generation posting only happy photos.

(More on that in 2025)

Life- real life doesn’t have to be aesthetically pleasing or expensive to be fulfilling or beautiful.

The social media “norm” isn’t actually normal.

And that’s what I want you to walk away with as a 2025 social media “trend” the defluencing movement.  The movement of where we are ourselves online. The movement where success is defined as checking in and meeting our communities where they are at. The movement where we focus on talking and connecting to who is already there rather than constantly seeking new people. The movement where when we meet you in real life, we get the same person who is showing up on your social. The movement where we stop overproduction and stop taking all of this social media stuff SOOOOO damn seriously. 

The movement where we aren’t constantly selling and instead connecting and allowing the sales to come.

If anything, social in 2025 is going to be ALL ads by this time next year, and the only way to set yourself apart is to be yourself. Because the universe sent you here because the collective needs you to be who you are.

And who you are won’t be for everyone, and that’s OK- your people will find you. 

They already have; they are called your “followers,” aka your community. They are waiting for you to talk to them instead of seeking new members because the number isn’t big enough.

Because someone on social media has your perception so messed up that a low number is not good enough- whether your community is 20 or 20,000- those people want to hear from you.

Keep showing up.

The Heart of Marketing: Beyond Products to Human Connection

The most successful marketers are part psychologist, part storyteller, and part empathetic listener. They don't just sell products—they create meaningful connections that resonate deeply with human experience.

In the marketing landscape, there's a profound truth that separates exceptional brands from forgettable noise: the people coming up with the concepts are part psychologist, part storyteller, and part empathetic listener. They understand that marketing isn't about selling products—it's about creating meaningful connections that resonate deeply with human experience.

Building and communicating with a community, if you will.

The Psychological Lens

Imagine marketing as a bridge between human needs and potential solutions. This bridge isn't built with facts and features but with understanding. A true marketing psychologist doesn't just look at demographics; they look deeper. They seek to understand the unspoken desires, hidden fears, and quiet dreams that drive human behavior.

When Nike tells you to "Just Do It," it's not selling shoes. It addresses the internal struggle between mind and body, doubt and potential. When Dove creates campaigns about real beauty, it's confronting deep-seated insecurities about self-worth. These brands have mastered the art of seeing beyond the surface.

They tune in to what's happening with their community and telling a story.

Storytelling in marketing is not about crafting a narrative—it's about revealing universal truths. The most powerful marketing doesn't interrupt people's lives; it becomes a part of their personal narrative. Think about brands that have become cultural touchstones. They don't just communicate; they connect.

A great marketing story focuses on something other than what a product does. It explores what a product means. It transforms a simple purchase into a chapter of personal transformation, be it outer or inner.

It's empathetic. 

Empathy is the secret weapon of extraordinary marketers. It's about hearing what's not being said, about understanding the emotion behind the complaint and the aspiration behind the purchase.

An empathetic marketer doesn't just collect data; they collect human experiences. They recognize that behind every click, every purchase, there's a human with hopes, challenges, and a unique story waiting to be understood.

When you embrace an empathetic approach- it transforms marketing from a transactional experience to a meaningful interaction. It's about:

• Recognizing individual journeys

• Validating human emotions

• Offering solutions that genuinely improve lives

Our world right now is so noisy. One sentiment that I have been hearing from friends and purely social users is that they are SO over all of the ads, influencers, and people tapping a product with their nails. They are SO over it that they aren't even scrolling anymore. Instead, they go to their search bar and type in the person's name they want to see a post from. 

When people move away from scrolling, your marketing needs to become more elevated and otherworldly.

Marketing, at its most elevated form, is not about selling. It's about understanding. It's about creating moments of recognition where a person feels seen, understood, and supported.

When Apple shows how technology can unleash creativity, it is doing more than marketing a product. It is acknowledging human potential. When Patagonia highlights environmental sustainability, it connects with people's deeper values.

A New Marketing Paradigm

The future of marketing belongs to those who can:

• Listen with genuine curiosity

• Tell stories that matter

• See the human behind the customer

• Communicates with their community instead of always seeking new community members.

• Posts with intention

So in this world saturated with messages, meaningful connection is the rarest commodity. The most successful marketers don't just reach audiences—they reach souls. They understand that behind every purchase is a human seeking something more than a product: validation, hope, potential, belonging.

Marketing isn't about what you sell. It's about who you understand. It's time to get back to a human connection and an understanding that not everyone is meant to be a part of your community. 

Storytelling, Authenticity, and Martha: The Roots of Modern Content Creation

Before Instagram, TikTok, or YouTube, there was MARTHA - the original influencer who revolutionized lifestyle content before "content creation" was even a term.

Over the weekend, I watched the Martha Stewart documentary, and it hit me: she literally invented the influencer playbook decades before social media existed. Think about it - Martha created aspirational content, built a lifestyle brand, and monetized personal expertise WAY before anyone else.

What Martha understood maybe before anyone else:

• Personal brand is everything

• People don't just want products - they want a lifestyle

• Authenticity and expertise are the ultimate currency

• Turning domestic skills into a multi-million-dollar empire

There were plenty of Martha Stewart magazines floating around my house growing up, and looking back now, putting two and two together, that style of photography definitely influenced the way that I saw the world and objects. My mom would see things in Living and then search for them at the antique stores and flea markets she took me and my brother to. Then, she would mimic the way it was styled in the magazine when we got back home. 

While the original Living magazines discussed antique finds in Connecticut shops and then brought dupes to the aisles of Kmart to make it attainable for those who lived outside of Connecticut, the lifestyle influencers of today are showing you that you can attain the same aesthetic from your local thrift stores. 

At one of the vision boarding get-togethers I went to a few years ago, I did take a completely intact 2002 Living magazine, and for some reason, it's made all of the moves I've had since then. But when I went searching for it after I watched the documentary and flipped through it while eating leftover pie, I got to a page that looked like what my Explore page on Instagram looks like right before a holiday.  

And how powerful is it that page 228 of a 2002 magazine still has the same aesthetic that was so groundbreaking 22 years ago? 

She wasn't just selling recipes or home decor—she was selling an entire aesthetic, a way of LIVING. Martha Stewart was doing flatlays, tutorial content, and lifestyle branding before we had filters, follower counts, or even a term to call what she was doing. She was literally the prototype and the architect for every lifestyle influencer you follow or are suggested to follow today. 

From magazine spreads to TV shows and cookbooks to product lines - Martha didn't just create content; she created an entire ecosystem around her personal brand- which, when you talk to almost any younger millennial or Gen Z, is what they are trying to attain, with their podcasts, substack subscriptions, social feeds, affiliate links, and merch drops.

Talk about being ahead of her time.

The difference, however, is that Martha wanted people to get back to a time of enjoying life surrounded by pretty things and flavorful food. The lifestyle brands of today, it seems, want the world to live as they do because their way is the only way to do it correctly.

But the way the energy feels moving toward next year, at least from a marketing perspective, is that this one foundational value from the booming Living days holds true. Authenticity and expertise are the ultimate currency. 

AKA storytelling.

Marketing to build an empire is truly storytelling; hell, everything that is marketing is storytelling. 

In my experience of monitoring post analytics, the best-performing posts have been the ones when the business gets vulnerable and shares something real—not some "Today was the best Thanksgiving ever, my family is better than your family" type stuff. 

Something where it walks the fine line of oversharing and just enough to touch on a similar experience that a scroller can also relate to.

If I have noticed anything in the last nine months of my daily life on social media, it's that people are truly beginning to see through the facade of the overstyled photo and cutesy caption and craving something real and relatable.

So, if you have been feeling uninspired lately and want to get back to the roots of personal branding, find the documentary or look through the magazines at your local thrift store or library donation table. If there's a Living there, pick it up and flip through it. Then, let me know what you think about it all.

All of this, however, has brought up my next question—is this also where our need to post only aesthetically perfect photos along with happy captions began?  Blog coming soon. 

De-Grumping Marketing: A Teacher's Mindset for Small Business Success: A Guest Blog from Yat-Yee Chong

This is the last week of guest blog posts, and I am so grateful to have a network of business owners who also really enjoy writing. My guest this week is Yat-Yee Chong of Axon Martial Arts, now you might be wondering what does a martial arts instructor have to say about marketing. She shares how her decades of experience as a teacher have transformed her approach to sales and marketing for her small business, Axon Martial Arts Academy. Frustrated by the noisy, overwhelming world of modern business promotion, she discovered a powerful solution: applying her teaching principles to marketing.

Yat-Yee reveals two key insights that have reshaped her entrepreneurial mindset: facilitating discovery and earning trust. Instead of viewing marketing as a separate, energy-draining task, she now sees it as an extension of her core teaching mission. She approaches sales with the same care, patience, and intentionality she brings to her classroom – filtering information, creating meaningful connections, and prioritizing authentic communication over quick wins.

The result is a more energizing, compassionate approach to business promotion that keeps her integrity intact and reduces the stress of marketing in a complex digital landscape. Her story offers a refreshing perspective for entrepreneurs struggling to make their voice heard amid the constant barrage of online noise.

I’ll let Yat-Yee take it from here.

Owning a small business today requires an entrepreneur to do so much more besides the core business. A friend of mine dubs himself “Hats”, as in the wearer of all of them. My preferred term is Chief Dragon.

I knew this from the piano-teaching business I owned in the nineties, yet I was still surprised by how different it is to do business today, especially in the sales and marketing space, how much noisier it has become. 

To be heard above the barrage of information thrown incessantly at audiences: offers, scams, truths, lies, slime, threats, hypes, value, over-promises, ads disguised as reviews, has become the bane of my business existence, eating up my bandwidth.

And made me grumpy. A grumpy entrepreneur is not good for anything, not the business, clients, my family, and certainly not my well being

Thus began my de-grumping quest. 

One thing emerged from this (still ongoing) journey: a mindset shift.

Instead of feeling unmoored by decisions on how to present my business to the public, I now guide them using the same principles that have served me well in my 30+ years of teaching career:

a teacher's goal is to facilitate discovery and to earn trust by communicating effectively. 

Facilitating discovery

Passing on information is not what teachers do. It wasn’t even when knowledge was less easily available and it is certainly not true today. 

What do teachers do? We

• filter, validate, and sequence content

• present it 

• observe how each student learns

• find ways to lead them beyond rote-learning to experiencing, investigating, comparing, puzzling over, struggling with, and finally understanding and generalizing what they learn. 

It is not a straightforward path. And it’s different in every single teaching interaction. A teacher’s mind constantly taking in information from the responses of students as a basis to diagnose, spot holes, determine readiness, sense teachability, examine our own understanding, and then figure out a hierarchy of importance for what we can do, cut out, add, so that we re-present in a more effective way. 

This is the process that drives teachers. This is what we love and thrive on. This is what convinces us that we are doing necessary work.

How does this translate to marketing and sales

At the very least, it changes a set of tasks that used to zap energy to one that energizes.

Second, it brings my teacher’s heart to the fore, a heart that has much more patience and compassion than that of someone who is annoyed and sickened by phishing threats, spam, and bots set up by geniuses who think this type of automation is how to get to potential clients. 

Third, I am better able to trust the process instead of feeling frustrated by not knowing how a particular ad campaign is doing. Teaching has taught me that what I do today may not yield recognizable results right away, or ever. I am not worried. 

By applying this attitude to marketing, I remind myself that my job is to help the world, or at least my target audience, discover what Axon Martial Arts Academy is. I can be patient and  be assured that what message I send out doesn't have to do the job of selling all by themselves, but would connect with others to create a picture that tells the right story.

Granted, this process is different in that there is no immediate feedback and therefore not always possible to determine how well messages have come through. But this is not an insurmountable problem. It requires my teacher-brain to tackle it the same way it has tackled other problems over the last 30 years.

Earning Trust

When a student starts with a new teacher, there is a level of implicit trust in that decision. 

Trust, however, is not a static thing. If the teacher doesn’t live up to this trust by their actions, such as 

• showing disinterest, 

• using disrespectful language and actions, 

• being inconsistent, 

• hiding ignorance behind jargon,

• being unwilling to be questioned, 

• resorting to defensiveness 

• refusing to take any stance except one of authority, trust evaporates. Sometimes very quickly. 

Earning and keeping a student’s trust takes a long time of consistent actions based on integrity, humility, and transparency. Unfortunately, it can be lost with just one misstep. That trust of my students and their families is a most cherished treasure, one I will not jeopardize because without trust, learning cannot take place. 

How does this shift in perspective help in sales and marketing?

When it comes to the effectiveness of our marketing, metrics such as the number of impressions and amount of engagement can have a powerful effect on a business owner. 

But if they become the primary objective, there is a temptation, at least for me, to start adopting strategies, or even phrases, that have been “proven successful” in the industry.

Of course, I want my messages to be well received. The fact that these “proven to work” messages may or may not being authentic can be drowned out by such justifications as “it’s a means to an end” or “nobody takes it seriously anyway” or “ you need those keywords with long tails”.

I don’t believe I have compromised my integrity but I will say that constant weighing of decisions is one of the biggest energy- drain.  By using “earning trust” as my North Star, I am reclaiming the mental energy and well-being. 

Viewing sales and marketing as extensions of my core business of teaching instead of separate tasks that compete for my mental resources is giving me more enthusiasm and definitely much less grumpiness. 

Yat-Yee Chong brings her teacher-heart and -mind to teaching piano, percussion, pedagogy, Chinese calligraphy, or martial arts. Find out how learning martial arts in small groups taught by a  devoted and experienced teacher can make a big impact in your life. 

Connect with Yat-Yee
www.axontkd.com

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Finding Connection Through Pain: A Guest Post by Katy Owens

In case you haven’t following along on social media, a new Muse came earth side and I’m getting to know her.

I’m really grateful for the network of business owners I’ve built who also enjoy writing to step in and guest post when my real life takes priority over cyber life.

The post touches on something that rarely gets discussed in the social media space: how we build meaningful connections online when physical presence isn't always possible. I'm honored to share this powerful piece from Katy Owens, of Empowered Path Occupational Therapy who opens up about navigating social media and community-building while living with chronic pain.

What drew me to Katy's story was her refreshingly honest take on social media's original purpose - connection - and how we can reclaim that intention for ourselves. In a world of highlight reels and perfect feeds, Katy reminds us that there's immense value in sharing our authentic experiences, even (or especially) when they're messy.

As someone who believes in the power of intentional social media use, I appreciate how Katy offers practical wisdom for creating what she calls a "social media sanctuary." Her insights about curating our online spaces aren't just for those living with chronic pain – they're valuable for anyone seeking more meaningful digital connections.

I'll let Katy take it from here. I think you'll find her perspective both challenging and inspiring.

Over to Katy...

Chronic pain sucks. And if you are someone who lives with chronic pain, or know someone who does, you may know that it sucks in so many ways and is unique to each person. Today I want to talk about how chronic pain can lead to feeling isolated and cut off from your social support.

Unfortunately, living with chronic pain can lead to social isolation because of the unpredictable nature of pain flares. Maybe you were invited out to a new brewery with your friends, but alcohol might cause a flare, or they might not have comfortable seating, or it could be really loud inside or a dozen other things. So instead of spending important time with friends, you say no, or cancel at the last minute because the stress and anxiety of the event is not worth the potential social benefits.

As you cancel more and more social invitations, maybe you stop getting the invitation. This can ultimately cause spiraling into depression, as you might look up one day to realize your friend group is nonexistent.

I’ve been in this situation and found respite in social media. When we think about the origins of the various platforms, it’s crucial to remember that the original goal was connection. Where did that go? It’s almost been entirely lost to influencers, AI generated images, restock videos, and obnoxious product placement.

What we don’t often see is the Behind the Scenes of social media, instead we spend hours comparing ourselves to the highlight reel of others. But I’m here for the bloopers. It’s okay to be messy, and sad, and less than perfect. When I was seeking community on social media, I started by curating my feed. Who were the people or organizations I was following, and WHY was I following them? When I read their posts or watched their videos, how did that make me feel? I started unfollowing and unfriending any person or profile that made me feel less than, and instead sought people who were at minimum broadcasting content that was realistic, inspirational without toxic positivity, and resonated with my lived experience. What I was left with was a feed full of seemingly authentic humans with relatable life experiences, and thoughts and feelings that feel genuine. It’s not perfect, and it’s always evolving as I evolve as a person.

There is a ommunity out there for you, whether you also live with chronic pain or are just looking for a group of people who love soup as much as you do. And if you need it: I give you permission to unfriend, unfollow, curate and customize your feed. It’s *your* space, after All!

I have a favorite quotation from Marianne Williamson that is a constant inspiration for the space that I aim to create on social media, for myself and others: “…as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”

Never be afraid to show the world who you are. Create your own social media sanctuary if you must, and curate your feed so you’re inspired by people doing the same. Even if we live with chronic pain and are still finding ways to get back out into the real world for real life connection with friends new or old, we can still engage in meaningful connection right here on the internet.

I, for one, can’t wait to meet you. Let’s make this space beautiful.

About Katy

I work as an acute care occupational therapist in Northern Colorado and also own an occupational therapy private practice specializing in pain management. I earned my Master’s in Occupational Therapy from Colorado State University, where I was honored to receive the distinction of Outstanding Grad Student of the Class of 2022 from the College of Health and Human Services.

Before starting my career as an occupational therapist, I served in the United States Coast Guard. An injury and my subsequent rehabilitation sparked my interest in occupational therapy and fueled my passion for advocating a biopsychosocial approach to pain management combined with an occupation-based approach.

I had the opportunity to present at the Colorado State Association Annual Conference in both 2023 and 2024. I was also selected from a wide pool of applicants to speak at the UCHealth 2024 Symposium, where I shared with fellow therapy practitioners and other medical professionals the value of OT in pain management and the biopsychosocial model of pain.

Connect With Katy:

www.empoweredpathot.com

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/katy-owens-ot/

When Vulnerability Becomes Your Superpower: A Guest Post by Chrysta Bairre

In case you aren’t following along on social media, a new Muse came earth side and I’m getting to know her.

I’m really grateful for the network I have of business owners who also enjoy writing to step in and guest post when my real life takes priority over cyber life.

I am thrilled to share today's guest post from Chrysta Bairre, a voice that resonates deeply and aligns with what I believe about authentic leadership and social media presence. When Chrysta first shared this piece with me, I found myself nodding along with every word.

As someone who navigates for herself and others the complex balance of being professional while being real online, Chrysta’s message about the power of showing up authentically hit home.

Chrysta's journey from trying to maintain a "perfect" image to embracing her whole story mirrors what so many of us experience as business owners and content creators. As the founder of She Goes High, a 1,900+ member women's leadership community, and author of "Beautiful Badass," Chrysta brings a unique perspective on how vulnerability can become your greatest strength in building genuine connections online.

I'll let Chrysta take it from here – and I encourage you to read all the way through. Her insights about the difference between sharing wounds and sharing journeys might just change how you think about your own social media presence.

Over to Chrysta...

My highest engagement as a business owner has consistently come from sharing my most vulnerable moments.

When I launched my career coaching and speaking business, a colleague and friend advised me to "show them your scars, not your wounds". She explained that to build my credibility, I needed to share about my challenges only once I had "figured out" how to overcome them, so I tried my best to put on my "perfect” on social media face. But I'm not perfect on social media or in life. I don't think I've had one single day of having my shit completely together. Maybe I have my shit 50% together. Or maybe 80% together. Or maybe 23% percent together. And that's real life. 

I wondered how I could show up as the face of my business and be “perfectly” fallible human in the process. Not long after I was invited to share my personal story at a mental health awareness event, and my business mentor told me not to do it. I felt so strongly that sharing stories of mental health is important for humanity, so I told my story and waited for the backlash my mentor said would come.

It never came.

Instead, people reached out and told me how much they were moved by my authenticity, and I even got a few career coaching clients from the opportunity! It turns out my vulnerability made them feel more comfortable sharing vulnerably with me.

After that speaking opportunity, I began to share more openly about my struggles on social media, in my newsletters, and on stage. I shared about personal and business struggles, and my people found me. Today I think of it less as “showing my wounds”, and more as showing my journey, and the stops along the way.

---

Chrysta Bairre is an advocate for herself and others. As a child she grew up in poverty, surrounded by family members with mental illness and addiction, while her own non-apparent disability went unrecognized and undiagnosed. A queer woman with several disabilities, she fought to get the help and support she needed to thrive, and became a voice for unseen and under-served people like herself.

Today, Chrysta is a career coach and professional speaker, helping women increase their income and impact through valuing their own inherent worth, setting boundaries and saying no in business, and advocating for themselves. She engages and inspires on stage, speaking to employees on banishing burnout, overcoming impostor syndrome, and workplace mental health.

Chrysta is also the founder of She Goes High, a 1,900+ member introvert and neurodivergent-friendly women’s leadership community in Northern Colorado. She Goes High hosts more than 30 events per year to support women leaders in taking up their space in the world and leaving their legacy!

Her first book, Beautiful Badass: How to Believe in Yourself Against the Odds, shares stories and lessons from overcoming poverty and depression in this guide for women who want to take command of their destinies and no longer fall prey to the hardships and setbacks that previously defined them. She is currently writing her next book on the topic of asking for help.

Connect with Chrysta:

Website: https://liveandlovework.com/ LI: https://www.linkedin.com/in/chrystabairre/

From Invisible to Influential: Overcoming Your Social Media Resistance

When I first meet to consult with somebody, the conversation usually follows the same cadence: They introduce themselves and immediately tell me, "I hate social media."

And they are usually very emotional when they tell me that. 

But what I hear when they say that is, "I don't want to be seen." 

There is just so much resistance in that one statement, "I hate social media."

Resistance to being fully seen. 

I understand the resistance because there's a level of vulnerability when you show up and put yourself out there.  We all have many feelings about being vulnerable, especially during this time of society, because, in the times that we are living in right now, people are concerned that anything that they say can and will be taken the wrong way. Clips can be broken out of context and put out there independently. Some feel that there's always an underlying possibility of being canceled or, even worse, someone not liking you. 

If any of that resonates with you, then you need to keep reading. 

I'm a recovering people-pleaser who has worked long and hard to become OK with people not liking me. If you're an entrepreneur or a business owner, you've absolutely got to get to a point where you are OK with not being liked. Because, spoiler alert, not everyone will like you, just like you do not like everyone you come across. 

Don't deny it; there are some people that you do not like.

You can tell yourself every day how you hate social media and how your business can survive and thrive without it, but you're lying to yourself.

Social media isn't going anywhere.

No matter how much you resist it- it's here to stay. 

Social Media is one of the greatest tools for reaching the masses, but you want to blend in with them.

I'm not sorry to be the one to tell you that if you want to grow something, this business, or this idea that popped into your head, you've got to figure out how to stand out and show up from the masses. Some days, you might be met with pushback, negative comments, or challenging your idea comments. But the beautiful thing is that there is an entirely opposite side of the negative, and that's positive.  

So.

Let's flip the script for a moment. When you say, "I hate social media," you're probably picturing an endless stream of selfies and humble brags. But what if we looked at it differently—How can you do social media things differently?

Whenever you share your expertise on social media, you're serving someone who needs your help. Think about it - that quick tip you shared about your area of expertise might be exactly what someone needed to hear when they saw it. Your knowledge, earned through years of experience, could solve someone's problem they've been struggling with for months.

Over here, we're now refocusing from constantly selling to helping and being of service to anyone who comes in contact with our content.

Here's what service-focused social media actually looks like:

• When you share your behind-the-scenes process, you're demystifying your industry for someone who's feeling overwhelmed.

• That "simple" insight you almost didn't post because it felt "too basic"? It might be the breakthrough moment for someone just starting out.

• Your story about overcoming a business challenge could give someone else the courage to keep going.

And here's the beautiful irony—when you focus on serving rather than selling, sales often follow naturally. People aren't just buying your product or service; they're buying into your approach, your values, and your way of solving problems.

Let's be real about authenticity. We're all SO over the perfectly curated feeds and the "everything is awesome" narrative. Your audience isn't looking for perfection; they're looking for someone who gets them. Your vulnerability isn't a weakness—it's your superpower.

When you show up as yourself:

• You attract the right people - the ones who resonate with your real personality and values

• You build genuine trust because people can sense when someone is being real

• You save energy because you're not maintaining a manufactured image

• You create deeper connections because people relate to human experiences, not polished performances

Remember that post that made you nervous to share because it felt too personal? Those are often the posts that get the most meaningful engagement. Why? Because they show others that they are not alone in their struggles or experiences.

And here's something nobody tells you about authenticity - it's actually a filter. When you show up as yourself, you naturally repel the clients who wouldn't be a good fit anyway. That's not a bug; it's a feature. It's better to attract the right people than to weakly attract everyone strongly.

So instead of asking, "What will people think if I post this?" try asking:

• "Who might this help today?"

• "What problem could this solve for someone?"

• "What would I have needed to hear when starting?"

• "How can my experience make someone else's journey easier?"

Think of social media as your digital mentorship platform. Every post is an opportunity to extend a helping hand to someone who's where you once were. That's not self-promotion - that's service.

Since we are in business to make money, throw in a selling post occasionally, like subscribe to my email for more insider tips, or book a 30-minute session, whatever the call to action you want to achieve. 

And here's how we're going to do that. Now that we've talked about why visibility matters, let's get practical. I'm going to give you a gentle on-ramp to showing up online—no dancing or viral challenges required because we're also over those. 

🎯 The 5-Day Visibility Starter Challenge

Day 1: Introduction Post

• Share your professional "origin story" - what led you to this work?

• Include a recent photo of you in your workspace or with a client (with permission)

• End with a question inviting others to share their story

Day 2: Behind-the-Scenes

• Show a glimpse of your daily routine or process

• Could be as simple as your morning coffee and planning routine

• Share one tool or technique that makes your work possible

Day 3: Client Win (anonymized)

• Share a success story (with permission)

• Focus on the transformation or solution

• Include the lesson you learned from this experience

Day 4: Quick Tip

• Share your most basic but valuable piece of advice

• Something you do automatically, but others might not know

• Make it actionable in 5 minutes or less

Day 5: Personal Value

• Share one belief you have about your industry

• Explain why this matters to you and your clients

• Invite discussion about different perspectives

Look, I get it. The resistance to being visible isn't going to disappear overnight magically. But here's what I know for sure: on the other side of that resistance is everything you want for your business.

Every successful business owner I've worked with has had to face this same fear. The difference isn't that they're fearless – it's that they chose to take action despite the fear. They started small, stayed consistent, and built their confidence one post at a time.

You don't have to become a social media influencer or create viral content. You just need to be visible enough that the right people can find you. Think of it this way: every time you don't show up, someone who needs your expertise misses out on finding you.

Here's your permission slip to:

• Start messy

• Be imperfect

• Share what you know

• Take up space

• Help people find you

At the end of the day, "I hate social media" is just another way of saying, "I'm afraid to be seen." And you, with all your expertise, experience, and ability to help others, deserve to be seen.

Your first step doesn't have to be big. It just has to be a step.

Pick one platform. Choose one template from above. Make one post this week.

That's it. That's how it starts.

If you need support along the way, I'm here to help you navigate this journey. The world needs what only you can offer—but first, they need to know you exist.

Ready to take that first step? Let me know which platform you're choosing to focus on, or reach out if you need help crafting your visibility strategy.

Remember: Your business exists to serve others. Don't let your fear of being seen keep you from serving the people who need you most.

Why Social Media Works Best As Part Of Your Complete Marketing Strategy (And What Else You Need)

Let's face it—social media is fantastical. If I felt otherwise, I wouldn't have been in this space since Blockbuster still existed.

Yeah, sure, there are some downsides, like misinformation and negativity, and most of it's fake. But you're here, and know that together, we pinky promised that with each and every post, we are going to change what we can.

Didn't know you pinky promised, it was implied the second you landed here. :)

With millions of active users across platforms like Instagram, Facebook, and LinkedIn, it's no wonder you, as a business owner, are drawn to these channels like a moth to a flame. The allure of instant reach, viral potential, and direct customer engagement is undeniable. But here's the truth: it's like shouting into a void and putting all your marketing eggs in the social media basket, which is a risky game to play.

I've run into a bunch of businesses who have inspired this post that they put their entire marketing budget into social. And I'm here to clarify that social media is NOT the only way to market your business; instead, it is part of a functioning marketing family of your business.

Is me writing this career suicide- my gut says no.

Social media deserves a place in your marketing mix because it offers unique advantages that other channels can't match:

• Real-time engagement with your audience

• Cost-effective reach compared to traditional advertising

• Powerful targeting options

• Instant feedback on your products and services

• Ability to build community around your brand

But here's where things get tricky.

Imagine building your entire business on rented land. That's essentially what you're doing when you rely solely on social media. You do not own any of the stuff on social media —don't believe me; peruse the terms and conditions I know you didn't read. Also, at any time, CEOs of any of these platforms could decide to pull the plug on the servers running these digital worlds, and then what?

Consider these scenarios:

• Instagram changes its algorithm, and your posts suddenly reach only 10% of your followers (Current situation)

• Facebook updates its policies, restricting how you can advertise (Regulated Industries know)

• Twitter (now X) implements new fees or limitations

• Your account gets temporarily suspended due to a misunderstanding (Yikes)

These aren't hypothetical situations—they happen regularly to businesses of all sizes, and I've been a part of a few.

Here's the thing: diversity is always your friend, no matter what.

Smart businesses diversify their marketing across multiple channels. Here's where you could consider expanding outside of social:

1. Email Marketing Still the king of ROI, email marketing gives you direct access to your audience without algorithmic interference. You OWN your email list - no platform can take that away from you. Plus, email consistently outperforms social media in conversion rates when you use social to build your email list.

2. Content Marketing and SEO Creating valuable content for your website builds long-term organic traffic. Unlike social posts that disappear in the feed, good content can drive traffic for years. I back-linked a blog from two years ago because situations like that still happen.

Focus on:

• Blog posts solving customer problems

• How-to guides and tutorials

• Industry insights and analysis

• Case studies and success stories

Don't dismiss "old school" 1900 marketing methods - they still work:

• Local advertising

• Print materials

• Direct mail

• Industry events and trade shows

• Speaking engagements

• In-person networking groups

Some of them work better for your specific business than others so be aware of that.

Here's the thing: your marketing needs to work together like a functioning family. They need to work together, not in isolation. We might not live in a functioning family, but we've all seen one on TV.

Here's how to start:

1. Audit Your Current Mix

• What percentage of your marketing effort goes to each channel?

• Which channels drive the most valuable results?

• Where are you most vulnerable to external changes?

• Which channel do you even like hanging out on?

2. Set Channel-Specific Goals

• Social media: Brand awareness and community building

• Email: Nurturing leads and driving sales

• Content: Establishing authority and driving organic traffic

• Networking: Reaching local or industry-specific audiences

3. Create Cross-Channel Synergy

• Use social media to grow your email list

• Share blog content across all channels

• Convert in-person connections to online followers by following them and commenting!

• Repurpose content across platforms

4. Most importantly, track, adjust, and monitor the performance of each channel and be ready to adjust your strategy. What works today might not work tomorrow.

Social media is a powerful tool, but it's just one tool in your marketing toolbox. Building a sustainable business means creating a marketing strategy that doesn't depend on any single channel. Start diversifying today - your future self will thank you.

Remember: Marketing success isn't about being everywhere - it's about being in the right places with the right message for your community.

And if you need help determining where or how to show up for your community, let's chat.

Taking Control of Your Digital Home: Why It's Okay to Curate Your Social Media Connections

Over coffee the other day during a one-on-one LinkedIn zhoosh session, the client asked me if they need to accept every LinkedIn or personal Facebook Friend request they get- does it make them look bad?

I immediately answered "No".

In case you need a reminder today, no is a full sentence.

Here's the thing: Your profiles are like your little house on the vast world wide web. Whichever platform you like to hang out on is best—well, that's your primary residence. The one you like to hang out on after that one—well, that's like your weekend home. And maybe you have a third platform: your summer/winter house. 

Whatever you want to name them, your screenname is the name of your house on the internet. You can do whatever (within the boundaries of the platform's terms and conditions) and let whoever you want into your house.

Let's visualize for a moment your real house; you don't invite just anyone over, do you? 

No, you invite over people you have probably hung out with in public before a few times and have gotten to know them. Then you invite them over.

Your online residences are allowed to have the same credentials.

(read that again until it clicks)

After we said goodbye, I sat with what I had said for a minute. Then I looked at my Facebook "friends" and, with a quick scroll, realized there was a handful right off the bat that I had met years ago once at a networking event. But still, every time I tapped in, I would see life events from them in my face, which meant if they hadn't muted me, then they could see life events about me. And I wasn't sure how I felt about that.

Enter a weekend afternoon when I decided to take back control of my "house" and who was invited into it. 

The first thing I did was go through and sort out all of the business colleagues I had networked with, and I found them on the appropriate professional channels. Were we connected on LinkedIn? Was I still following their business page on Instagram? Did I want to subscribe to their email marketing?

Those were the easy ones.

Then it came to the people who didn't fit into the colleague, people I knew IRL, or family. I asked myself this question: would I invite this person into my real house, or would I only meet them publicly for coffee or lunch?  If the answer to those questions was yes, I would have found them on some other professional platform. 

What has happened over the years is that when I meet someone at a networking event and exchange cards and information with them, a few days later, I receive a friend request from them on my private Facebook. Not that they have followed me on my public professional LinkedIn network or my public professional Instagram; no, they go right for asking to be friends on my private Facebook. 

And at some point in this whole working on social media, I stopped accepting friend requests from one-off meetings of people and, over the years, have drafted a response that I message to most of these "friend" requests that are instead "strangers" wanting to connect professionally 

"Hi! Thank you for your friend request. However, I keep this platform for family and close friends. I would love to connect with you professionally on LinkedIn or my business Instagram page."

Because if your accounts are private and someone you've met once at a networking event requests to be friends, it's basically like an essential stranger inviting themselves into your house. 

And you don't have to let them in.

That weekend afternoon, I spent unfriending and re-following on professional platforms. It felt weird. The people-pleaser in me was screaming, "What are you doing?!! We're not going to have any friends."

But this current me and the woman I'm becoming responded back in my brain, "I just don't need to see, experience the energy, and be shouted at of some "strangers" kids' milestones or hear about their sisters' cancer or how they're fighting with their HOA, and I especially do not need a play-by-play of where they are at politically and what they think of others who don't think like them—And still never hear anything about their business."

That is the entire reason I accepted the connection, to begin with.

I met them years ago at an hour-long after-hours networking event. We sipped cocktails together, but I can't even remember if we connected one-on-one afterward to discuss what their business actually was. 

So I whittled my personal Facebook following down to clients, people I know IRL who have my phone number and my family. 

The world is SO noisy- and it's only getting louder.

If it's becoming too noisy in one of your houses, consider this your permission slip to unfriend and unfollow or at least mute and restore some peace and quiet to your feed.

People you are meant to meet and do business with will not miss you, if the connection is really supposed to happen it will happen someplace.

You do not have to accept every request that hits your inbox. If people get upset that you unfriended them and they don't have a conversation with you about it over text message or email, then are you even really connected?

If you are on the road to being a recovering people pleaser as I am here are a few tips to work through the weird overwhelm that will creep in:

1. Start small: Begin with a few accounts or connections that you're sure about. This can help build confidence.

2. Remember it's normal: Many people curate their social media. It's a common and healthy practice.

3. Use platform features: Utilize options like "Unfollow" or "Mute" on Facebook, which allow you to reduce content from certain connections without unfriending.

4. Set clear boundaries: Craft a polite message template, use mine as an example if you want to respond to connection requests from people you don't know well.

5. Focus on YOUR well-being: Remind yourself that this is about creating a positive online environment.

6. Be consistent: Apply your new approach consistently to avoid feeling like you're singling anyone out.

7. Prepare for questions: Have a simple, honest explanation ready if anyone asks why you've disconnected.

8. Privacy settings: Review and adjust your privacy settings to control who sees what on your profile.

9. Separate personal and professional: Consider using different platforms for personal and professional networking.

10. Take breaks: If the process feels overwhelming, it's okay to take breaks and come back to it later.

Remember, it's your digital space, and you have the right to make it comfortable for yourself. Taking control of your online environment can lead to a more positive social media experience.